Yes, people, it’s true. The Internet is the most useful tool available. Thanks to it we have an amazing source of information at reach. It’s like having the largest library in the world in the comfort of our homes. The network is the forbidden fruit. That fruit of wisdom which God forbade Adam and Eve to eat. Humans believe we can find everything in this network, and it’s true. Everything, absolutely everything, is on the Internet. That’s why you, lazyass, instead of working, studying or doing homework; are tucked in my blog reading the rantings of a poor girl who writes to feel better (painful, but it is news and I have to speak).
EVERYTHING IS ON THE INTERNET.
So what is the problem of the web? This major flaw (or blessing, to some) that creates the love-hate relationship that many have with the network. It’s simple, the problem is exactly that, everything is on the Internet.
In the network there are no secrets, no confusion, nothing remains hidden. Whether the information is on the web or the deep web, the fact remains that the information is still there for anyone to handle. And to find it, you just need to put the necesary words into a search engine and do a click or ask person clever enough to get that suposedly non existing information we may as well classify as “hidden”.
This means that whether you kill one person, you went up a mountain with your friends, you cheat on your wife, you went to a party, you secretly poisoned the neighbor’s cat, put a new picture on the wall of your room, you moved, or set christmas at home; people will know through the web. That is, your wife, your friends, uncles, cousins, nephews, godchildren, your parents, siblings, grandparents, teachers, boss, your coworkers, neighbors and even ants (yes, ants. You think you are alone. Completely forgetting about helpless animals found in kitchens and gardens, but no! They’re aliens and will wipe out the human race. Remember Invader Zim brothers born in the nineties!) will learn what you did in less than a month by simply having Facebook, Hi5, Twitter, Skype, MySpace or any computer with Internet access.
Imagine the following scene: arrive home, and decide to spend some leisure time on the computer. Turn it on happily, open a deep web browser (because you have a hacker complex and you think you’re best), then the first page that comes to you is a reliable source and tells your neighbor killed your mother in law. There are two types of reactions … Some will be shocked and others will host a party. However, the outcome of the second case is a bit more tragic: your husband/wife (who learned from Facebook you were hosting a party because of his/her mother’s murder) arrives home, throws a tanturm, demands the neighbor and kicks you out of the house for celebrating his/her mother’s death. Then you have to go to your parent’s place or wander the streets like a complete idiot.
At the end Internet ends up being a disgrace, not only for the sociopath who killed mother in law, but for you that will just be homeless, single and with no food (because of course, if your partner is the cook, he/she won’t cook anything for you).
So online no lie can survive, because no matter how minor… Whatever you do, will find a way to end uo in the network, either through the cloud, a social network or deep web.
So I recommend wholeheartedly to my readers not to hide theese things, or better yet, do not do them:
- Don’t cheat on your partner: to see people, this is a touchy subject… Forget for a moment that your partner may suffer. Don’t you realize that it is a problem for yourself? In the case of boys, have to do the same tedious romantic movie (Twilight, for example) twice … Twice! And girls, do you really want to have to watch every game of each sports season at least twice? Yes, it’s true … There are girls who like sports and although it bothers me, there are also guys who like Twilight … but who really would want to watch it the thirty times your partners want to watch it? On top of that, they’ll find out through Facebook or Twitter … Seriously, with social networks in place, it does not take a genius to know.
- Go to a party in secret: see, there’s no way your mom, uncles, cousins, grandparents, family, boss, friends or ants will not know this… Everyone will know and the one who posted the photos to Facebook, Instagram or Twitter will make sure to write something like #LunaWasntSupposedToBeHere. If your friends are at least half the “funny” that mine are, they will. Because my people, friendship without bullying is not friendship. Who says that his friends never made fun of him for three weeks because of some stupid thing, has no friends at all.
- Kill the neighbor’s mother: I will not explain this, I just won’t. Do not kill, it’s for ants.
- Secretly throw a party when your mom is not at home: This is the most important of all. Never host a party at your house in secret … That will come out in all social networks and, as I said before, with a tag that says #ForbidenPartyAtLunas. Don’t do it, if you do your mother will know, the ants will make fun of you and will end grounded as I did last week.
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Luna von Schmilinsky