Let’s meet Ash Ketchum!

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He believes in an innovative religion and has won the Orange League, Ash Ketchum from Pallet town apart from having the world’s record of going to the Pokémon League without winning, dedicates his life to train his pokémon with all the dedication and love of a real professional while the effects of a rare candy don’t let him grow.

He has a very simple house with a countryside view. Sitting on the sofa with Pikachu by his side while the butler per excellency, mr. Mime brought some tea we began our conversation.

I know you’ve had a very controversial and even criticized carrier and I would like to know a bit more about it. That said, I’d like to start from the beginning… Why did you choose this requested and unstable carrier?

Well, truth is I wasn’t good at math or sports. I didn’t really like writing… I wanted to travel, get to know the world. Oh, and dad was a pokémon trainer too.

Oh really? How was your father?

Mom says he had blue hair and pink cheeks. She also said something about a second carrier that that was something between a mime and a clown. –In that instant mr. Mime brings us some sweets and stuff… Wow! – Anyway, I assumed that if he could do this, I could too.

But even if he was, you’ve never won the Pokémon League, right?

Well, I actually won the Orange League. But apparently nobody recognizes winning the Orange League as a remarkable merit. So I guess it doesn’t count.

Even so, you have continued to pursue your dream to become the best Pokémon trainer of the world. How long do you think you’ll take?

I’d rather not think about that. Anyway, nothing has changed since I started my journey. Well, yes… My clothes (laughs).

Speaking of time, how long has it been since you began your journey with Pikachu?

That’ll 16 years traveling the world and, of course, battling every trainer I make eye contact with (literally).

… So how old were you when you started?

Ten years old.

In that case, probably all women addicted to plastic surgery wonder, how did you manage to maintain the appearance of a ten year old all these years?

A few days before going to pick Pikachu up, at night, I left my window open. A noise woke me at dawn. It was Peter Pan. Turns out that I was chosen to be one of the lost boys, so I was given a candy to never grow. But I was so anxious to meet my pokémon that although I had told him that I’d be going, I eventually retracted. The problem is that I had done the spell to not grow already, and the spell is apparently irreversible. So I’ll stay like this forever.

You believe in Peter Pan?

Yes, and I also believe in the Clefairy.

That’s a Pokémon, how can you not believe in them?

Simple, A scientist once told me that the Clefairy had come to this planet on a meteorite, bringing all the pokémon world. However, I think that meteorite is the planet itself and the Clefairy actually move us through space at they’re will. For now we are passing near a star called sun, but when we move away, the pokémon are the only ones who can survive those deplorable conditions and it’ll be the end of mankind.

I see… Let’s talk about the candy, what kind of candy was it?

It was a rare candy. Generally this candy is used to reinforce skills and contribute to the growth of a pokémon. However, apparently the candy has an adverse effect on humans, and instead of making us grow, it affects the pituitary, which instead of creating growth hormone, begins to create a hormone that does the opposite. Today, I have the appearance of a nine.

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This discovery will make Lindsay Lohan and John Travolta feel fulfilled. -mr. Mime collects the empty cups… Wow- Have you talked with a scientist on the subject of rare candy?

Yeah, I talked to Professor Oak. But the next day, when I went to do my exams, he had forgotten all about our conversation. So I had to visit Professor Elm.

Then I guess you’ve never had an erection…

What is an erection?

That confirms it. Pikachu, what do you think of all this?

Pikachu, Pika pika pi.

Of course, I understand perfectly. So I guess I better end this interview here. Thank you so much for this opportunity Mr. Ketchum.

It was nothing. You can come back whenever you want. Oh and please don’t forget to tell me what an erection is next time you come.

Sure. Bye Ash! -Mr. Mime guides me out … WOW!

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