INUYASHA LOSES HIS PATIENCE

Temp2 (9)

After waking from a nap that lasted 50 years caused by his dead ex-girlfriend when she sealed him to a tree, he fought many times against the wickedest hybrid ever created. He frustrated his plans to steal a jewel that could have given him infinite powers with a simple wish. He saved the world during the feudal era of Japan and managed to get the girl. All this being half a man and half a beast, rejected by the society of his time.

Carrying a sword in his belt and wearing his usual red haori, Inuyasha comes into the WcDonald’s with a green cap and scowl, while ordering a nonexistent bowl of ramen amid a burger restaurant.

Come on, I do not have all day. Let’s finish this quickly.

Uh, yeah. First of all thanks for giving us a few minutes of your valuable time for this interview.  -Inuyasha growls indifferently- So, tell me a little about yourself… Where do you come from?

Kagome’s place.

Uh … No. I was referring to the place you were born.

Ah! My mother’s hut.

Very well, let’s leave geography for another time. Who was your father?

It was the strongest dog demon of all time.

I see you’re very chatty… You say your father was a dog demon. That makes you half dog, where is your tail?

My tail? I have no tail.

But, your brother has one…

Half-brother. That man also has an ego and a superiority complex larger than that of a god, and that doesn’t I have them also. Besides, what does a tail with the interview?

That with the amount of information you give me, you might be answering me in monosyllables.

OK… -He snaps angrily- I’ll answer with more detail if you promise to leave me alone soon.

Deal. So tell me, how did you start your journey?

500 years ago a damned man deceived Kikyo, the guardian of the Shikon no Tama, and I. As a result, I ended up sealed on a tree and Kikyo dead. 50 years later, Kagome woke me from my sleep and I mistook her for Kikyo because she is her reincarnation and also had the pearl with her. Anyway I wanted the Pearl and she accidentally broke it. So she got me in this mess. Are you happy now?

Very much, yes. So it all starts with the relationship that you shared with Kikyo. Could you tell me a little about it?

Do not abuse of my patience… -Growls.

Okay. Then explain to me how it broke?

If a demon eats the pearl, it becomes a brainless monster that can not be destroyed. In this case it was swallowed by a bird and as this woman is a terrible archer, she couldn’t think of a better idea that to tie a leg that I had ripped off the animal to one of her arrows and shoot while it regenerated. Obviously, it was a perfect shot, but the price was three years of tortuous travel to find and collect all the fragments of the pearl.

Explain to me what is pearl.

It’s a magical pearl that can grant any wish to a person or give incredible powers. It was created by a priestess named Midoriko.

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But we do not have to worry about the existence of this pearl anymore, right?

You’re right. Kagome and I take care of it.

Talk to me about your companions, how are they?

My companions? Oh, you mean my pack. Kagome is my best friend and mate… Today Miroku and Sango are married and have three children. We all took care of Shippou and educated him. He now leaves occasionally to do fox things…

With mate you mean wife?

What are you talking about? -He blushes.

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I figure that’s a yes, then.

Hey! I did not say that! That’s distortion.

Let’s just say I don’t care. Do you think things have changed between your era and this one?

Of course, I lived in a forest and to reach any village you had to walk for days. Demons are a lot less common now, and magic does not exist. Although there have been people able to use it.

And I suppose Kagome, your girlfriend, is able to use it…

Yes.

See? She is your girlfriend.

You ungrateful brat! How dare you?! –glares at me.

Then I guess your ex-girlfriend is Kikyo.

Think what you want.

Very well, let’s change the topic. How long did it take to gather the fragments of the pearl?

Three years.

What happened after you got them all?

We destroyed the Pearl and Kagome got back to her time for three years, finished school and then returned. Since then, we’re always together.

Really? Together, together?

‘This interview is over.

 Instantánea 32 (01-03-2012 01-39 p.m.)

Hey, no … Wait! I was just kidding.

You got what you wanted, now stop harassing Kagome’s mother so she’ll tell you when I come, please. The woman is terrified … Which reminds me why I came here in first place. –He unsheathes Tessaiga- Get away from my pack!

Wait! What are you doing?!

What I should have done when I arrived!

Kagome: SIT BOY! -Inuyasha crashes to the floor.

Thank you!

Inuyasha: Damn! Kagome! What the hell is wrong with you ?!

Kagome: You better go before it recovers.

Yes!

Luna von Schmilinsky

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Let’s meet Ash Ketchum!

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He believes in an innovative religion and has won the Orange League, Ash Ketchum from Pallet town apart from having the world’s record of going to the Pokémon League without winning, dedicates his life to train his pokémon with all the dedication and love of a real professional while the effects of a rare candy don’t let him grow.

He has a very simple house with a countryside view. Sitting on the sofa with Pikachu by his side while the butler per excellency, mr. Mime brought some tea we began our conversation.

I know you’ve had a very controversial and even criticized carrier and I would like to know a bit more about it. That said, I’d like to start from the beginning… Why did you choose this requested and unstable carrier?

Well, truth is I wasn’t good at math or sports. I didn’t really like writing… I wanted to travel, get to know the world. Oh, and dad was a pokémon trainer too.

Oh really? How was your father?

Mom says he had blue hair and pink cheeks. She also said something about a second carrier that that was something between a mime and a clown. –In that instant mr. Mime brings us some sweets and stuff… Wow! – Anyway, I assumed that if he could do this, I could too.

But even if he was, you’ve never won the Pokémon League, right?

Well, I actually won the Orange League. But apparently nobody recognizes winning the Orange League as a remarkable merit. So I guess it doesn’t count.

Even so, you have continued to pursue your dream to become the best Pokémon trainer of the world. How long do you think you’ll take?

I’d rather not think about that. Anyway, nothing has changed since I started my journey. Well, yes… My clothes (laughs).

Speaking of time, how long has it been since you began your journey with Pikachu?

That’ll 16 years traveling the world and, of course, battling every trainer I make eye contact with (literally).

… So how old were you when you started?

Ten years old.

In that case, probably all women addicted to plastic surgery wonder, how did you manage to maintain the appearance of a ten year old all these years?

A few days before going to pick Pikachu up, at night, I left my window open. A noise woke me at dawn. It was Peter Pan. Turns out that I was chosen to be one of the lost boys, so I was given a candy to never grow. But I was so anxious to meet my pokémon that although I had told him that I’d be going, I eventually retracted. The problem is that I had done the spell to not grow already, and the spell is apparently irreversible. So I’ll stay like this forever.

You believe in Peter Pan?

Yes, and I also believe in the Clefairy.

That’s a Pokémon, how can you not believe in them?

Simple, A scientist once told me that the Clefairy had come to this planet on a meteorite, bringing all the pokémon world. However, I think that meteorite is the planet itself and the Clefairy actually move us through space at they’re will. For now we are passing near a star called sun, but when we move away, the pokémon are the only ones who can survive those deplorable conditions and it’ll be the end of mankind.

I see… Let’s talk about the candy, what kind of candy was it?

It was a rare candy. Generally this candy is used to reinforce skills and contribute to the growth of a pokémon. However, apparently the candy has an adverse effect on humans, and instead of making us grow, it affects the pituitary, which instead of creating growth hormone, begins to create a hormone that does the opposite. Today, I have the appearance of a nine.

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This discovery will make Lindsay Lohan and John Travolta feel fulfilled. -mr. Mime collects the empty cups… Wow- Have you talked with a scientist on the subject of rare candy?

Yeah, I talked to Professor Oak. But the next day, when I went to do my exams, he had forgotten all about our conversation. So I had to visit Professor Elm.

Then I guess you’ve never had an erection…

What is an erection?

That confirms it. Pikachu, what do you think of all this?

Pikachu, Pika pika pi.

Of course, I understand perfectly. So I guess I better end this interview here. Thank you so much for this opportunity Mr. Ketchum.

It was nothing. You can come back whenever you want. Oh and please don’t forget to tell me what an erection is next time you come.

Sure. Bye Ash! -Mr. Mime guides me out … WOW!